A Week In Review

• Good news: I finally moved out of McCormick Hall! J.D. moved out over Winter break, and although a new kid moved in, we found him another place at Bouquet Gardens that was open. So now, I have J.D.'s old room and my living arrangements are far better than they were before.
  
  Steve made it seem like the best part about the place is that we all have our own separate rooms, but I have to disagree. Although it is nice to be able to have some privacy and be able to sleep without having your roommate walk in only to crank the volume on his television up all the way, I consider roommates to be a much more important aspect. Seeing as how I had grown a particular hate for Bill, I also grew to realize just how important it is to have roommates that you actually like. And seeing how Koop, Dave, and Steve are good friends of mine, it is a good combination. At the same time, I am put into a situation I have never had to face before: the fact that I care about my roommates. Sure, I was friends with my roommate and floormates during my freshman and sophomore year, but I never truly cared about them and their situations. As cold-hearted as this may sound, it was all just meaningless banter to me; they would have fights or whatnot, and I could have cared less about their past, present, and future. The difference is that I care about my current roommates. Hence, I cannot say certain things that I could freely say before (i.e. poke fun at them because of their past girlfriends in front of their current girlfriend/fiancée).
  
  To boot: Bill never knew I had moved out until he came back Sunday night.
• A direct result of my moving is that I actually have the opportunity to regularly work out without interrupting a roommate's sleep. However, I started running every morning when I was still rooming with Bill, so he had to put up with my alarm clock going off every morning at 6 AM and the subsequent noise I made as I stretched and put on clothes.
  
  I hope I woke him up everyday at 6 AM that entire week.
  
  Waking up and running in sub-zero weather is stronger than coffee; that much I am positive of. For the first few days, I was coughing up a storm and my legs were sore as hell, but I adapted to my new routine and things were okay. A week after beginning, I did get sick, and adding sit-ups and pushups to my work out also meant that my abdominal and arm muscles got their chance at being very sore. But, I got over them. Granted, I do have the occasional aches and pains, but nothing that some stretching cannot fix. Also, last Tuesday (January 13th), I added a Personal Fitness class on to my schedule, which means that I will be even more active.
  
  I wonder where I can find the time for anime this semester.
• It seems like I cannot go an entire entry without some mention of Erin.
  
  On Friday night (January 16th), Allison drove to Pitt, and while I have a feeling that I will be seeing a lot more of her this semester because I moved into the same suite as Steve, that is not a bad thing. Allison is a good girl; virtual friend or party chick or whatever label you wish to slap on her. Cutting to the chase, Allison asked me what was up with my AIM profile and a specific away message that I used.

  From my AIM profile
  I wept and found love, but love did not find me. Yet, that has given me a new goal in this aimless life. For now, I shall smile and gaze into those sparkling eyes.

  The away message in question
  Happily dreaming of sugar plums, fairies, and... Allison knows the last part.

  The last part of the away message is "Erin." It is something that I told Steve and Allison on New Years Eve when we were driving to Steve's house. I forget what prompted me to say it (Probably the three beers I had drunk before hopping into the back seat of the car), but I said it quite clearly: "Tonight, I shall happily dream of sugar plums, fairies, and Erin." That warranted an "Aww" from Allison, but I was not striving for sympathy or pity or anything of the sort; I merely said what I felt.
  
  Anyways, Allison said that Erin had been asking her about it. At first, I felt... something, and that something was not good. It was neither jealousy, anger, or hate, but just a general "Not again..." feeling. It spawned mainly from the fact that this seemed to be yet another example of how Erin does not want to directly ask me about an issue and instead goes behind my back to find an answer that I would not hesitate to respond to her about. However, I quickly realized that I do the same thing many times; I ask people for certain information about Erin, trying to get to know her better than I do already. After I got over that small quirk, I forget what I asked Allison, but she said something similar to what Steve had said barely a month ago: "Perhaps she just wants to be friends."
  
  Yet, as much as it hurt to hear and think about Allison's words, I know that I have to trudge onward through all of the shit and muck that may cloud my vision. And I will only rest when I have heard Erin's response to what I told her last summer. It is either a success I must enjoy to the fullest or a failure I cannot bear knowing of. While it would break my heart to hear her tell me something that could be summed up with a simple "No", it would break my heart even more to see her be forced against her will to get into a relationship with me.
  
  If she is truly kind, she will be honest.
• Something else that I have noticed about moving into a better dorm that is inhabited by real friends is that my time is guzzled up. I wake up at 6 AM to work out, and by the time I finish, it is at least 8 AM. I will usually get breakfast, then usually watch television, read assigned material, or go back to sleep for another hour or two before I need to get up for any classes. Depending upon the day, I usually have class starting at 9:30 AM or 10 AM, and with exception to Tuesdays, class ends at 3 PM, but after class is done, I need to take a nap. I wake up between 5 PM and 6 PM, and after dinner (Most days, I only have two meals: breakfast and dinner), it seems like there is always something going on with Koop, Steve, or Dave, and that sucks up a good portion of my time. If nothing important is going on, I try to catch up with my assigned readings (And there is quite a lot of that), but I try to make it to bed by midnight.
  
  At least they cannot take away my weekends; I can at least do something productive then. And while I am on the subject, here is my schedule for this semester:

  Class - Day - Start Time - End Time:
  Introduction to Fiction Writing - T - 6:00 PM - 8:30 PM
  History of Japanese Women - T H - 11:00 AM - 12:15 PM
  Personal Fitness - T H - 9:30 AM - 10:25 AM
  Introduction to Logic - T H - 2:00 PM - 2:50 PM
  Introduction to Logic Recitation - M - 11:00 AM - 11:50 AM
  Comparative Political Party Systems - M W F - 2:00 PM - 2:50 PM
  American Foreign Policy - M W F - 10:00 AM - 10:50 AM

• I openly admit that I drink alcohol despite the fact that I am only 20 years old, but I feel no shame in drinking or any great desire to. I can remember back during high school when alcohol still had that whole magical allure to it, and even the first time I tried some, I never really liked it. To this day, I can say that I have no great love for alcohol, but I drink it at times to use it as a social lubricant, yet I know when I have had enough. Consequently, I have yet to do anything that I regret, I have not been arrested, nor have I ever puked. At the same time, if I was serious about a woman and she asked me to never drink again, I would have no problem giving it up; even now, there are times when I do not feel like drinking, and I imagine that I would probably be a better person if I never drank alcohol again in my life.
  
  It may sound stupid, but even though I prefer to drink beer, I still cannot chug a bottle or can of beer. I even have problems downing a shot glass full of... whatever, be it Captain Morgan or Grey Goose. It is not something I am proud of, but I am not ashamed of it either. I prefer to drink alcoholic beverages for the taste rather than to get drunk, and it could be said that I have strange tastes. I cannot stand drinking anything fruity or sugary like Bacardi Silver because a good alcoholic drink to me is a good tasting beer.
  
  And still, I drink to be someone I am not; that friendly guy who always has a smile glued to his face and is eager to talk about anything with practically anyone. As sick as it may sound, it could be argued that I also drink to forget about some things in my life. Perhaps I use it to forget about how I hate being a third/fifth/seventh wheel all the time, to forget about an outcome of my Erin situation that I do not want to imagine, to forget about my aimless life, or to forget about a loneliness that clings to the back of my heels no matter how hard I try to outrun it.