Procrastinating the Inevitable

I do believe that my previous entry would indeed be classified as "crap." Okay, maybe not all of it, but the large part of it lacks general direction and does not get my point across. I will probably revise and make another entry about a similar topic in the future. Anyways...

Lord Chesterfield (1694 - 1773)
Know the true value of time; snatch, seize, and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness; no laziness; no procrastination; never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.

I think I get a slight thrill out of procrastinating all the time. Just the rush of "Oh sweet mother of Gandhi, this report is due in five minutes and I have not even started it yet" or "Fuck! Class started a minute ago and I am all the way across campus" situations. Basic formula is always "Interjection + Very limited period of time + Impossible to get it done properly = Procrastination at its greatest," or something along those lines.

I wonder if procrastination is an addiction.

In all honesty, my life is pretty boring. Yeah, it does have its moments of excitement, but those are few and far between. The last time I was truly excited about something was when I was going home for the weekend a few weeks back, and I cannot decide whether I was more excited over the prospect of seeing my family again or sorting through piles of anime that I had ordered. Maybe it was just all for the anime, which in that case, I would say that I am a bad family member because my life does require some devotion to my own family. I am sure that some people would not mind being excited over sorting through a few hundred dollars worth of anime DVDs, but if that was my sole reason, then I would say that it was a bad reason. However, I admit that I was homesick and that I wanted to see my family, sleep in my own bed, and just waste away a weekend at home enjoying things that I normally do not have a chance to enjoy (i.e. ice cream). I guess I will compromise and say that it was a bit of both sides: family and anime. Wow... I am an anime addict. I wonder if this is good or bad.

Today (Wednesday, April 16), I have a final test in Astronomy 0089, which I have yet to begin studying for; tomorrow, I have a 5-page paper due in Comparative Politics 0300 discussing how Cuba is classified between totalitarian and authoritarian style of government, which I have not started yet; and Friday, I have a 10-page paper due in Religion and Politics 1375 discussing how adherence to Christianity demands a feministic worldview, which I have three pages done. Instead of studying or writing all of that just yet, I am typing this journal entry.

But I do not find what is so thrilling about staying up until 6AM (Or oftentimes, right before the paper/test is due/about to occur) in an attempt to finish or cram. Indeed, this causes unnecessary stress on myself, and... I hate it. I hate staying up until all hours of the night doing such ridiculous bullshit as typing a paper that ends up being 12 pages single-spaced. I hate cramming so hard and for so long that I end up not eating, causing myself to fall into a state of malnutrition, and be sick for a week. I just hate it. There is no fun to be found in procrastinating until unheard of hours of the night, trying to get in that last few minutes of studying or that last few sentences of a paper. Yeah, all of that may get me a good grade when it is all said and done, but it just plain sucks. Who learns by coughing up a few papers in a week or regurgitating answers back onto a Scantron sheet? It almost seems fruitless. Yeah, I could just say that we are all going to die eventually, therefore, there is no point to doing all of this, but that is the easy way out of it all. I am just saying that procrastination only delays certain pains and that I will have to do most of this stuff eventually. And yet, I still procrastinate despite my knowing of what it will bring.

Maybe I am just a lazy asshole. That would be a pretty simple and straightforward answer, and I think this one holds a bit more water. I think this falls along the same lines of "Hard work may pay off tomorrow, but procrastination pays off now." This seems to emphasis a pleasure principle whereby I am rewarded now rather than later. The reward may be even greater later on in life, but that does not matter; now is best, even if the reward will be minute and ephemeral.

Note: I took a break for a day to do work. At this point, I have only my 10-page paper due in Political Science 1375.

Anyways, it still sucks hard. Okay, maybe not as much now that I have weathered a bit of the storm so far, but I still hate it all. Do not get me wrong; I am not the kind of person who hates very easily, but this is just a silent hate of mine, nothing that I would ever talk about normally in real life. The fact of the matter is, I hate that I just delay things until the final moments.

This morning, I was up until 4:30AM working on my Political Science 0300 paper, and I took a sleep break until 7:00AM, at which time I took a shower and finished off my paper. I know for a fact that I did a horrible job on the paper, and it was not the fact that I had a limited amount of time to work on it. Okay, that was a slight factor, but I would say that a major factor is that I just did not have any resources to use. If I do this last minute bullshit, it always comes down to using an online source or sources in order to make something up that works. I admit that I fudged most of my paper this morning. I was supposed to have three journal sources cited, and instead, I found one real journal and then copied citations for the other two sources. Actually, practically all that I needed was all in that one journal, but it was still crap. I sat on my ass for five minutes listening to Pachelbel's Canon in D Minor wondering how the hell I could pull it off. The only thing I know that will save me is the fact that I already have a decent grade in the class, which means I can probably still get a D on the paper and pass with a B-. I know that I miscited some sources and did not even cite the proper information at times, which means that my chances of being caught and expelled for plagiarism only gets kicked up by a few notches.

Maybe I should have just done one of the other three possible assignments to fulfill the same requirement. Oh wait... that would mean I would not have had a chance to procrastinate. I guess that is not an option for me, being the lazy bum that I am.

Something also stops me and says that I should not be beating up myself over spilled milk. Hindsight may be 20-20, but foresight is as blind as a bat staring into floodlights. There is nothing I can really do as far as things that have already occurred except meander over them, ponder what I could have done better, and moving the fuck on into the future. Sure, I should have started working on this paper a month ago so that I could have had a chance to turn it into the teacher's assistant, got it back with suggestions on how to properly revise it in hopes of getting the best grade possible, and then turning it in today (After getting a full night of sleep) knowing that I did all I could for the best grade possible. I could have done all of that to have a much better chance at getting a good grade, but... then I could not have enjoyed the time I would have spent studying and researching. I cannot remember the last time I enjoyed studying; in fact, I do not think that I ever have enjoyed studying.

Let me get some things straight. I enjoy sitting in for a lecture and listening to what the professor has to say about this and that. I enjoy recitation most of the time. I really enjoy listening to students having a chance to talk back to the professor/teacher's assistant about any topic so that they have a chance to say what is on their mind, even though I stop myself from joining in on their debates about capital punishment or Stalin's intentions during World War II. Honestly, I really do enjoy listening to other people talk, even if they are blabbing on about completely boring material. I usually find it all quite interesting to some degree. However, I hate extra-class participation such as writing papers, creating speeches, doing group projects, et cetera. Well, I sort of take that back; group projects are fun for me if I feel like I am apart of the group instead of just another person. However, that aside, I still hate the rest of it all.

As I said already, maybe I am just a lazy bum. I enjoy doing the simple things, but when complex things come about, I want to be anywhere else but there. Hell, I sat in Astronomy 0089 the whole semester (Except for recitations; there is no point to going to an extra class per week when you study for nonexistent questions on a test) listening to my professor talk in her silly German accent about theoretical crap regarding the universe. Every time someone asked her a question that was not covered in the material, her most common response was, "I don't know." She may not be the brightest bulb in the box, but I will listen to her zany theories regarding dark matter, black holes, and extraterrestrial life. However, what I hate doing (But was not subjected to doing in the class) is extra-class homework that takes longer than two hours and projects that only teach me to hate the course.

Some people call me smart, some call me intelligent, some call me asshole, but no one ever calls me good-looking (Or anything along those lines of being). My point is that although I hate putting off until tomorrow what I can do today, I will continue to do it out of sheer laziness.

Faces

Demosthenes (384 BC - 322 BC)
Nothing is easier than self-deceit. For what each man wishes, that he also believes to be true.

Just as the song from Macross Plus says, I wanna be an angel.

Human beings are imperfect, but that is only stating the obvious. I am imperfect as well, but there is almost perfection in being imperfect. From looking at things from a human perspective, we strive to be our own god, our own image of perfection. Thus, by being imperfect, we always strive for perfection. People usually are not content with their imperfect selves, so they look up to people to be their model of perfection. While the people they may want to model themselves after may be far from perfect, they often choose to ignore or overlook these parts of them in favor of more positive aspects of their personality, bodily traits, and abilities.

However, who creates this image of perfection? It is easy to point the finger at individuals, stating that the way that they look spurs people on to look like them. However, society as a whole plays a part in all of this. There is always a general acceptance and desire of what is good and appropriate. For example, females in American society seem to find a need to have large breasts, generally at least a C cup or greater. This comes from males, but what makes males want bigger breasts? Does it come from a general desire to want to return to youthful days as a baby, suckling on their mother's tit? On the other hand, is it just a random fantasy that was once disliked by society but became accepted after a while? This strive for perfection creates women such as Chelsea Charms and Wendy Whoppers who thrive upon this general desire by men to want bigger breasts. However, that is not answering the question at large: is this bigger breast phenomenon from female feelings of inadequacy or just male fantasy? I refuse to come up with an answer because I cannot begin to fathom what is behind all of it and this is not the sole purpose of this journal entry.

Denying these facts is denying who we are; denying the very culture that we were built upon. We always want to be the best at what we do, and this does not come from simple survival principles. Sure, you could make the case that people strive to be perfect in order to have the best opportunity to pass on their genes to the next generation, but this seems too simple. I cannot remember the exact quote or who said it, but it came out as something like, "To every complex question, there is an answer that is short, simple, and wrong." Basically, there is more to it than simple survival skills. Indeed, people get to the point of "perfecting their imperfection" that it is almost absurd. People who can lift hundreds of pounds of weights but cannot do a simple pull-up; people who can read 500 pages in less than an hour but cannot recall even minute details in the text; people who can be President of the United States but do not know how to operate a phone or cook for themselves. For all of their perfection, they are still heavily flawed and cannot perform basic tasks, and yet, these people will still pass on their genes. This point does blow the theory out of the water; people can still be heavily flawed and still procreate a few or many children.

I lie.

Let me expand on this point: I lie. The fact is that I lie everyday, to myself, to other people, and often times, it is done subconsciously without even actively thinking about it. However, it is also consciously thought about, but cannot be helped. Why? Because it is who I am. Do not forget that is also who we are. We want to be perfect, so we bend ourselves to be as perfect as we can be, but in the process, our lying makes us imperfect.

For example, I recently got back my second exam from my History 101 class and I got an A on it. I see just that little grade, and it makes my day; I am happy, and why should I not be? I did good work and received a good grade, right? This is where we deviate into possibilities. I could just lie to myself and keep it simple, believing that I did do a good job and I do deserve a good grade, but what if the teacher's assistant simply handed me an A because he did not feel like reading through all 200 papers in order to save on time? Indeed, the paper has only the grade circled on the final page with a "Very nice essay" compliment underneath the grade; why not make random comments here and there, pointing out good references or bad wording? Or could it just be that the teacher's assistant did not want to look bad, and so, only gave out acceptable grades (Acceptable grades, being deemed by society, as C- or above) in order to make himself look good? He already said that he was "hard-pressed to give out bad grades," so could this not mean that he just handed out grades in order to make him and the professor look better than they really are? I admit that I did not even get to read the last hundred pages of the book and, therefore, did not have the fullest grasp of the meaning of Robert Graves' "Good-Bye To All That." So really, does that mean that I still deserve an A? Just a point to ponder.

I find myself twisting who I am to look better in the eyes of others; to look more perfect. Once again, however, this act of deceiving others in order to look more perfect ends up making us less perfect. Why would someone lie in order to be perfect? Why can they not just be perfect? This is always something that has bothered me to a degree. Relating to Freud, it is a battle between society and self; superego and id; mankind and man. It is a constant tug-of-war between who we want to be and who we are.

Another example: I just want to have fun, however, society dictates certain things of me unless I want to be seen as a bum, useless, trash, et cetera. I know what I find to be fun: watching anime, making out or making love to a lovely lady, hanging out with friends of mine, and partying it up. According to Freud, these aspects are of the id, and they are ephemeral, short-lived, fleeting, and ultimately pointless; I think Freud is wrong on this part, because what we find to be short-lived we only enjoy even more for the rare moments that we do get to enjoy them. I think they are more fun because I do not get to do them all the time. However, there is the tug in the opposite direction: society's needs and desires. I may not want to major in political science at heart, but it is the one major that I am best at. Why choose to major in anything? Why even go to college? This is true, but it is also something that is dictated by society. What does one do with a political science major? I have no clue, but it brings home the bacon, and if it does not, then it is deemed useless, and useless things are usually discarded. Sure, it does seem as if slavery has evolved from the fields to the office, and we only work the jobs we hate to buy shit we do not need, but it is what is deemed by society as needed and desired.

I realize that this is all my choice, but there is another aspect that comes into all of this: basic human loneliness. We want to be individuals, but we do not want to be alone. While this may seem like a contradiction, it is not. At the basic level, everyone is lonely; whether they wish to admit this or not is up to them, but it seems to be an apparent truth to me. They band together in order to protect one another, to make sure that they survive, and to enhance themselves, but at the same time, they wish to still be individuals; to be different from the next person. This is why I usually feel it necessary to pull the "tough guy routine" with many people, but at the same time, I depict a "caring, soft routine." While my stereotyping of certain behavioral characteristics may seem out of place, many people do the exact same thing, only in many slightly varying ways. Thus, I am an individual, but I do not want to be alone, so I conform myself to be what society wants me to be.

I wanna be an angel.

One of my personal heroes is Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain. He once gave an oration called "Man: The Killer Angel;" largely, I think that Chamberlain was saying that man is but an angel already, and angels are not perfect beings. However, angels are very close to perfect, but not quite pushing pass the threshold that would deem them to be "perfect." If they were perfect, they would be gods themselves, but they are not. Anyways, Dictionary.com defines angel as being "a kind and lovable person" and "one who manifests goodness, purity, and selflessness." By sticking to this basic definition, I could be an angel, but it seems so much more difficult than just that. Not in a sense that I need to look "heavenly" or "celestial," but rather, I need to exhibit these characteristics all the time, and doing all of that seems very difficult.

At least Demosthenes got it right to some degree. Mankind wishes to be something that it is not, and it will lie to itself in order to delude itself into believing that it has become what it is not. We all show our faces, but they are masks hiding something else larger, something more hidden that most people will not admit to. Our faces hide deceit and lies, and it seems that only when we can tell ourselves the truth, only then can we have a chance at finally reaching some form of perfection, as unattainable as it may be.

Priceless

Kain, Co-Administrator of Anime Academy (1977 - )
registration at door: $50
your share of the hotel for 3 nights: $50
food: $30-$50
hanging out with Kain: priceless

Very easily, I can say that my first friend I ever had was my brother, Lance. However, "friendship" would be completely wrong in classifying our relationship; "brothers" seems to carry a more truthful meaning as to what we are. Calling us friends would seem like I was trivialize the fact that we came from the same parents, but at the same time, calling us brothers would seem to neglect the fact that we do not always treat each other like brothers. It is something that it is somewhere in the middle there but leaning more towards the brother side of the spectrum.

To expand further on this idea, I consider there to be a strict difference between a literal and a figurative brother. Lance and I are literally brothers; something that we cannot outrun no matter how far we run and how hard we try to, but we will always be brothers (Twin brothers, in fact). I can hate him, I can beat him, I can hug him, and I can love him; in the end, he will always be my brother, and I am glad that I will always have him.

In a figurative sense, however, I have many more brothers, but these bonds are far less stable. I can name only a few, because few of my friends ever actually step beyond the boundary of being friends to being closer to me. This only ever seems to happen through three ways: a bond developed over time, a bond developed through similarities, and both. I have seen it go both ways, but I cannot figure out which one is more stable and which one is just the "easier" way simply because of how difficult they may be. Sure, I guess you could say that developing a bond over time would be far more stable, but at the same time, the other person gets to know you, both your good and bad parts. However, the person who develops that bond through similarities is far more compatible, but lack of communication and contact has the adverse effect of gradually destroying the bond. The act of actually keeping a figurative brother is not as easy as it may seem, especially when one is separated through distances and mentality.

About six months ago, I would say that I lost two brothers, two friends who were very close to me. They did not physically die, but rather, it is more of a mental death. Jose, Tyler, and I once played Diablo 2 on U.S. East Realm of Battle.net for a solid five months, and in that time, we grew close. We shared everything together, we would back each other up if ever asked, and we would put an end to any nonsense; we were always there for each other. We always talked about everything, from mindless idiots roaming about on U.S. East to complex and in-depth conversations that could last from minutes to hours. There was nothing we could not say, there were no barriers between us, and there was a complete trust. Usually in triumvirates, I find that there is always a shifting group of two members against one, but we never pulled any kiddy bullshit like that; we were brothers, and brothers do not pit one against the other. However, one weekend in September or October of 2002, I decided to quit Diablo 2 cold turkey, and in all honesty, Jose had quit numerous times already and Tyler was quickly losing interest in dueling nine year-old children who scream remarks about how they "owned you." I quit partially because of Tyler's reason, but also because I had become sick of the politics involved with everything from items to rivals to time spent online to whatever else. Maybe there were more reasons (Other than the fact that no new patching and no ladder reset had occurred version 1.09D); I cannot remember anymore, but suffice to say, even some of my last friends on Diablo 2 have quit recently after PayPaling most if not all of their items. They, too, have also grown tired of the game, and some of them were three-year veterans, going back to the days of VyperII and Of_WOK.

Getting back to the root discussion, Jose, Tyler, and I had lost our main connection to one another. Yeah, we could talk on AIM to each other, but it just was not the same. We had lost that constant involvement with one another; on Diablo 2, we were always interacting with one another other than just talking (Although talking did take up a rather substantial portion of our time). These days, Tyler is always on AIM, and we talk to each other now and then, but we usually do not have much to say to each other. Most of the time, the conversation will drift into talking about Diablo 2 in one way or another, and we will blab on about it for a bit, but then either he or I will remind the other that we do not want to hear about the game anymore. Tyler calls it a waste of time, and although I agree with him there, I say that it was fun, and it was the fun that brought us together. However, we took the fun away by our own free will, and we lost our brotherhood. Jose, on the other hand, comes on AIM once every few weeks, if that. When he does come on, there never is any constructive conversation, but that is how Jose just is, and I enjoy that.

Our brotherhood has ended, and although I would never hesitate to help Jose or Tyler if ever asked, we have lost something. That something can be gained back, but I do not see it happening anytime soon. Both of them have sort of regressed back to being just friends, which is still nice, but it was nicer having a few more brothers.

Since my days in Diablo 2, I have been getting more and more into anime, gradually becoming immersed into the community, getting to know many people, and understanding what is going on. I am a regular at Anime Academy's Lounge, and through interacting with people, you pick up a lot of information about multiple aspects of the anime community. Quite honestly, not a day goes by where I do not learn something new about it, but I seem to be similar and different from others. Some people openly accept anime as being the best of the best, and others seem to shun it for the most part. I lie somewhere in the middle; I recognize anime for its gifts and its faults, but I do not lose sight of the fact that the nation who first created anime, Japan, is definitely not some "Heaven on Earth."

The quote up top is from the co-owner of Anime Academy. What started the conversation was the fact that I had donated $20 through PayPal, and Kain wished to thank me. Afterwards was a step I did not anticipate: he invited me to come along with him and the rest of the AA posse to Otakon 2003 for the 10th anniversary of Otakon. At first, I gave a blunt "No," but when he said what is in that quote up top, I think that was the turning point for me. Just the friendliness, cracking the joke how he did it, and the invitation kicked me from a "No" to "Pretty damn sure I will" in a matter of seconds. As he kept telling me about it and how it would all go down, I just kept getting more and more interested. The more he said, the more I kept thinking, "This is going to be a hell of a lot of fun." As far as Otakon is concerned, I do believe that I am going, but given that it is happening on August 8-10 and it is only mid-April now, a lot can happen between now and then.

As far as Kain is concerned, I think he just opened up another world for me. Something else happened (Which I am not at liberty to discuss openly), and I was "welcomed" into AA. Nothing official, mind you, but just the gesture said that I was welcomed with open arms. At first, I thought that this "welcoming" happened because I had donated to them, and I had serious thoughts about cutting off all contact with Anime Academy; if "donation = promotion" (Or something along those lines), there was no point in sticking with people who would be shallow like that. I had and have no interest in buying friends, and if it had turned out that way, I probably would have told them that "Fuck off," only in many more words. However, according to Roark's words, it was because "you have an IQ which is larger than your shoe size, unlike many other people." And... I trusted him. Just like how a friend trusts another friend. Yes, I have never met Roark or Kain in real life, and yes, perhaps I will in real life in the very near future, but I put faith and trust in those words, those electronic words that I could only read on a screen. I could not hear those words and they were not even physical, but I put faith into them, knowing that they would not lie to me.

Maybe it was just the act of them reaching out to me, stopping halfway, and waiting for me to reach out to them. As I give this idea more and more thought though, I think it is wrong. I was reaching out for someone else, not them in particular, but anyone. I reach out to others all the time, but almost never vocally. If I am ever in a physical, social environment where I do not know the people around me, I am not very inclined to reach out to them. I become introverted, afraid to speak, afraid to receive that look from everyone upon opening my mouth; I signal other people to reach out to me through my silence in these situations. However, online is different; I am almost a different person, as I reach out to others with my words, those same words that always betray me in the real world.

Kain told me that Otakon 2003 would cost me roughly $300 if I did not hit up the Dealer Room like an alcoholic in a beer store. However, I have a feeling that his last line is very true; hanging out with him and all of the other people there will be priceless.

God’s in His heaven, All’s right with the world

I feel like a bit of an ass for neglecting my journal these past few weeks, although the message board was offline for quite some time, so I cannot take all of the blame. Half of this entry was written almost two months ago, so the "not too long ago" translates into "it happened a little while back." Anyways...

Perfection, by Robert Browning (1812-1889)
The year’s at the spring
And day’s at the morn
Morning’s at seven;
The hillside’s dew-pearled;
The lark’s on the wing;
The snail’s on the thorn;
God’s in His heaven
All’s right with the world.

Not too long ago at Anime Academy, someone in the Lounge said "'God is in his Heaven all is right with the world', it means that God watching over the world from Heaven brings peace and calm." When it comes to religion, I always feel the need to backhand it at every chance that I can get, and this was no exception. I do not think that the person who posted that statement thought that the phrase is open to interpretation, and my response was swift to "correct" their comment.

When you take a political science course involving religion, you quickly realize just how much politics and people are affected by religion. Just recently, I found this sentence from a paper distributed in class to be particularly scary: "While there's nothing wrong with a President trying to make the world a better place, when the man in the Oval Office feels divinely inspired to reshape the world through violent means, that's a scare prospect." I admit that the paper itself is very biased (I do not know who wrote it), but it does provide another look at this "War on Terror." I am tending to agree with some of the aspects that it mentions, but other parts are unfounded. The title of the paper is "Bush's Messiah Complex."

Everyday, it feels as if more and more people are using religion to back their reasonings, and I find that without religion, these people do not have anything to back their reasonings whether they are good or bad. People use religion as an excuse to go to war and to not go to war, they use religion as an excuse as to why we must change certain parts of society, and on and on forever. Something I find particularly funny regarding Christian-based religions: the commandment stating "Thou shalt not kill." The funny part is that many people claim to kill other people in the name of "God," and yet, they violate their own code of ethics that they believe in without a thought. I am sure that if there is a God, he is quietly shaking his head and thinking, "Four simple words, and they somehow do not understand the meaning..."

In all honesty, I am a humanist. In my world, there is no god or gods, but rather, I believe in humanity simply because it is all around us and it is impossible to deny its existence. I believe in doing the greatest good possible, and I do not need silly reasons like "Because God said so" or "Because it is the Christian way." People feel that they need reasons to do good deeds; I do not need a reason to do a good deed.

Not that long ago, a woman in one of my recitations got her books knocked out of her hands and they were scattered all over the ground. The "kind" elderly "gentleman" who had knocked her books all over the place walked away as if it had not even occurred, even though I saw him with a look of surprise on his face when he saw what he had done and had walked away at a slow pace despite what he had done. I helped the woman while everyone else in my recitation walked on by, acting as if we did not exist and were trying to pick up her notes in the middle of the Cathedral's first floor hallway. I did not help her out because I wanted to get into "Heaven" or whatever; I did it because it was a good thing to do. In all honesty, the girl was cute, but I do not think that was a factor at all. I was not looking for a blow job or a girlfriend or even a "Thank you" (Actually, she did thank me when we got all of her notes together). It was a good thing to do, and I did just that. I am willing to bet that someone would have helped us if I had told the crowd that they were going to Hell if they did not help us, and even then, most of the people would have continued ignoring me or given me a "What has that guy been smoking" look.

Apathy will be the downfall of society.

Most people cannot do things out of raw emotion, or as sometimes is the case, they do the wrong things out of raw emotion. If a husband comes into his family's household and finds another man there near his wife, his first instinct may be to kill the other man. Nevermind the fact that the other man may just be a plumber and was enjoying some iced tea offered to him by the wife after fixing the family's upstair toilet because the husband believes that the other man may have fucked his wife, so it is okay to grab the nearest sharp object and proceed to commit murder out of rage (Raw emotion). That is an improper way to act on raw emotion. A poor man is sitting on the sidewalk, begging for change from bystanders and people walking on by. Another man comes out of a nearby McDonalds with a few Big Macs, fries, and a cold Sprite with a bit too much ice. The man with the Big Macs feels pity for the poor man's situation, so he hands him a Big Mac and throws in some fries as well. That is a proper way to act on emotions. Yes, the man with the Big Macs could have given the poor man some spare change that he got from the cashier at McDonalds, but if he wanted his intentions (His change) to be used to go buy food and not a bottle of vodka, then that was the best thing he could have done. Either that or take the poor man into McDonalds and told him to pick out a meal and he (The man with the Big Macs) would buy his meal.

I refuse to claim that I know how everything works. Someone pointed out to me the fact that if there is a design to the universe, there must be a designer. They conclude that, since there must be a designer, there must be a "god" of some sort. While I understand fully what they are saying and implying, it seems a bit reckless and irresponsible to go out and slap on a reasoning to something that cannot be properly explained. Sure, the universe has some method to its madness, but slapping a reason that has zero proof onto the existence or occurence of something is called misinformation. The Greeks and Romans did such things back in their day; they saw lightning or some other natural occurence, and since they could not explain why it was occuring, they made up a god for that particular occurence. I see both of these forms of logic as being very similar, and none of them accomplishing anything except filling peoples' minds (Which usually puts them at ease) with information that has a very low probability of being correct.

A few months back, I was debating with a Christian (I am not sure which sect he was apart of) about religion, and I remember him asking me, "If Jesus came down to Earth again and everyone was to bow before him, would you follow him?" I forget what my colorful response was exactly, but it could be summed up with "Hell no." The Christian then said that it would be blasphemous for me to not follow Jesus, to which I responded something like, "I would rather be free in Hell than chained in Heaven." I still feel this way. And I still feel that religion is an opiate (This comment usually offends many people), but all of this would stem from people's actual definition of what "religion" is. Dictionary.com defines religion as "belief in and reverence for a supernatural power or powers regarded as creator and governor of the universe," however, there is another definition that is not implied most of the time which is "a cause, principle, or activity pursued with zeal or conscientious devotion." These two definitions have similarities, but are divided between the whether they use spiritual/supernatural reasons or not.

I bet Robert Browning would never have thought that his last two lines would end up being used as a key part in a famous anime. Either way, if there is a "God," he can stay in his "Heaven" and whack off for all I care, so long as he does not interfere with the rest of the world (Although many people would say that "God" touches everyone). If there is no "God," good; it is time that people got on with their lives instead of having a hangup like "God."

I think that Mageth's The Greatest Story accurately sums up Christianity for the most part.